is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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