Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize