So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
he's single and there are thong briefs.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
