Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
being pregnant is like rehab
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize