Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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