Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
