Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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