and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
