And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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