U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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