It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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