Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
