the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize