I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
