i think my mom watched the whole time
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
