fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize