Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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