After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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