So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
