Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize