The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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