nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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