You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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