Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
