your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
