I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
