Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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