he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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