So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
How does one acquire holy water?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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