Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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