Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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