Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
and you said cock pushups were impossible
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
