nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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