are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
