Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
