I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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