Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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