We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
