did you get engaged???
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I have aggressive nipples.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
