You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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