guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize