So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
