i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
