I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
