Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
