very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
