she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
