oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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