The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
