okay pat passed out under dana's car
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
