I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
