mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
