K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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