hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
