in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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