He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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