they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
