I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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