i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize