Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
