everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize