I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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