When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
