the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
