Last Night in Washington (206)

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole

  (425): View more from Washington

  There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian

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• (206): View more from Washington

  got weed?

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.

  (206): View more from Washington

  sorry mom...

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• (206): View more from Washington

  My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  im bored tell me something entertaining

  (206): View more from Washington

  You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?

  (206): View more from Washington

  only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  So can I buy you a drink sometime?

  (206): View more from Washington

  Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD

  (206): View more from Washington

  Or, you could have used a condom

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.

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