it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
