"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
