epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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