Last Night in Illinois (331)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

ADVERTISEMENT

• (331): View more from Illinois

  You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.

  Fav 13 6038 1752

  share tweet
  

• (331): View more from Illinois

  My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.

  Fav 17 5684 1156

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (331): View more from Illinois

  DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME

  Fav 7 3127 971

  share tweet
  

• (331): View more from Illinois

  Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!

  Fav 0 749 471

  share tweet
  

• (331): View more from Illinois

  She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"

  Fav 4 147 216

  share tweet
  

• (331): View more from Illinois

  decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.

  Fav 2 9 96

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (331): View more from Illinois

  The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.

  Fav 1 58 15

  share tweet
  

• (331): View more from Illinois

  So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.

  Fav 0 59 13

  share tweet
  

• (331): View more from Illinois

  She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy

  Fav 0 143 6

  share tweet
  

• (331): View more from Illinois

  I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?

  (1-331): View more from Illinois

  A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.

  Fav 0 71 5

  share tweet
  

• (331): View more from Illinois

  I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked

  Fav 0 42 5

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (331): View more from Illinois

  apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time

  Fav 0 40 3

  share tweet
  

• (331): View more from Illinois

  What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.

  Fav 0 34 2

  share tweet